Building Men

When it comes to figuring how to move from being a boy to a man or even from being a boy who can shave to a real man, there have been tons of books written but all of them are full of complicated formulas or long lists of things to do. This means that almost every male will never remember them and probably won’t read past page 25.

I’ve been thinking, reading, and studying about this process for a lot of years and have finally broken it down into three elements of being a man: Wisdom, Discipline, and Good Judgment. These three come a verse in the ultimate training manual for men, Proverbs, “Get the truth and never sell it;  also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.” Mastering these three elements will get you over the hump and into manhood, but the first question is what do those things really mean and how do you do them? I’ve been trying to come up with simple definitions that also give directions for the “how”. Here’s what I’ve got:

Wisdom is Knowing What’s Right And How To Do It

Discipline is Doing What’s Right, Even When It’s Hard

Good Judgment is Choosing What’s Right, Even When Something Else Looks Better

Or you can just remember three words and live every moment of every day with them in mind: KNOWING, DOING, & CHOOSING.

That’s it. Simple right? Well simple to remember, but you’ll spend the rest of your life reorienting your job, relationships, finances, hobbies and everything else to them. Hard to do but the payoff is worth it.

Over the next several days I’m going to write a post on each one to get you started.

I Hate Running, But…….

A few weeks ago I started doing something I’ve always hated doing, running. But I wasn’t losing any weight working out or riding my bike, so I decided to give it a try.

I decided to do a program called Couch to 5k, that’s designed to take someone who wasn’t running at all, me, from nothing to running 5k (3.2 miles) in 8 weeks. To be honest, I never thought I’d actually do it but I figured maybe I’d work up to running a mile and that would help me lose some weight. Well, surprise, surprise, I did do it. I know run 3 miles, 3 days per week. It’s still not my favorite 30 minutes of the day but I have lost weight, so it’s worth it.

Along the way I’ve learned a couple of lessons that apply to other parts of life.

The first is it’s good to have a coach who will keep you on a plan and push you to do more than you thought you could. My coach’s name is Jim. Now Jim’s not a real person, he’s actually the voice on the iPhone app I use. When I first started the program, Jim told me when to walk, when to run, when to walk and so on. Now he tells me when I’m halfway through, then when I’ve got 5 minutes left, then 2 , then 1 minute and finally when I can stop. Jim just relentlessly keeps me going. The truth is there’s no way I’d have been able to this just using the timer on my iPhone, I needed Jim to keep me going.

Same thing with me and other men. I need other men in life pushing me on. No matter what you call them coach, guide, or mentor, they just keep pushing you down a path that they know will us better.

The other thing I’ve learned is pacing. I’m real slow and sometimes my competitive nature kicks in and I want to improve my time, so I start out my run at a fast pace. Too fast. Way faster than my skill and conditioning can sustain me. It always catches up to me about half way through then I have to slow way down and I end up with a slower over all time than when I just keep a steady pace. Focusing on improving my times gradually.

The older I get the more I learn that slow and steady wins the race. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, so I need to always think long-term. Not the easiest thing for me to do but I’m learning.

What are you doing in your life that is teaching you lessons that apply in other areas?

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