Lovers or Prostitutes?

David Ryser was teaching at a school of ministry. He gave a short history of Christianity that went like this: “Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise.”

Ryser describes what happened next….
Some of the students were only 18 or 19 years old–barely out of diapers–and I wanted them to understand and appreciate the import of the last line, so I clarified it by adding, “An enterprise. That’s a business.” After a few moments Martha, the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. I could not imagine what her question might be. I thought the little vignette was self-explanatory, and that I had performed it brilliantly. Nevertheless, I acknowledged Martha’s raised hand, “Yes, Martha.” She asked such a simple question, “A business? But isn’t it supposed to be a body?” I could not envision where this line of questioning was going, and the only response I could think of was, “Yes.” She continued, “But when a body becomes a business, isn’t that a prostitute?”

The room went dead silent. For several seconds no one moved or spoke. We were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were on holy ground. All I could think in those sacred moments was, “Wow, I wish I’d thought of that.” I didn’t dare express that thought aloud. God had taken over the class.

Martha’s question changed my life. For six months, I thought about her question at least once every day. “When a body becomes a business, isn’t that a prostitute?” There is only one answer to her question. The answer is “Yes.” The American Church, tragically, is heavily populated by people who do not love God. How can we love Him? We don’t even know Him; and I mean really know Him.

… I stand by my statement that most American Christians do not know God–much less love Him. The root of this condition originates in how we came to God. Most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us. We were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. We married Him for His money, and we don’t care if He lives or dies as long as we can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God into a business, merchandising His anointing. This should not be. We are commanded to love God, and are called to be the Bride of Christ–that’s pretty intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers. How can we love someone we don’t even know? And even if we do know someone, is that a guarantee that we truly love them? Are we lovers or prostitutes?

I was pondering Martha’s question again one day, and considered the question, “What’s the difference between a lover and a prostitute?” I realized that both do many of the same things, but a lover does what she does because she loves. A prostitute pretends to love, but only as long as you pay. Then I asked the question, “What would happen if God stopped paying me?”

For the next several months, I allowed God to search me to uncover my motives for loving and serving Him. Was I really a true lover of God? What would happen if He stopped blessing me? What if He never did another thing for me? Would I still love Him? Please understand, I believe in the promises and blessings of God. The issue here is not whether God blesses His children; the issue is the condition of my heart. Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings in my life the gifts of a loving Father, or are they a wage that I have earned or a bribe/payment to love Him? Do I love God without any conditions?

It took several months to work through these questions. Even now I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched by my attitude and behavior. I still catch myself being disappointed with God and angry that He has not met some perceived need in my life. I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved, but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God.
So what is it going to be? Which are we, lovers or prostitutes?

This originally appeared in Dave Browning’s blog

Integrity

Most people don’t know this about me but I’m listed as a guitar player on a CD. Yep, I’m an official studio musician. If somebody you know who’s heard me play guitar is reading this, you might want to help him or her up after they’ve fallen down laughing. To say I’m a hack guitar player would be a compliment. I think the last time I checked, I know something like 4 chords and I cannot for the life of me play a song with a bar chord. I just suck as a player but I’ve still got a playing credit on a CD.

How? It’s because a friend of mine is a man of integrity. His name is Terry McNeal, you can check him out at www.terrymcneal.com. If you’re from Huntsville and over 30 you’re snapping your finger thinking, “where do I know that name from?” He played in several bands over the years in the area and one was called TMac. Anyway, Terry became a follower of Jesus and started writing music to glorify God. He also put a studio in his house to record his music and that’s where the story gets interesting.

Terry called me one day and asked if I could drop by the studio. I thought he just wanted me to listen to some tracks and I always enjoyed that, so of course I said yes. When I got there Terry asked me to go in the recording booth with his guitar and play. I’m thinking, are you kidding me? I suck. Well, he didn’t want me to play an actually song, he was trying to set the recording levels for his guitar and needed somebody to basically bang on the strings while he worked the soundboard. So I dutifully played my four chords and picked through the opening of “Dust in the Wind” for about 15 minutes. Terry got what he needed and I left. In fact I never thought about it until Terry gave me a copy of the CD several months later. I opened it up to read the liner notes and to shock I was listed as playing guitar! I asked Terry about this and he said that the rule was if you played any, your name gets listed.

Think about that. Terry was under no compulsion to list my name. If he hadn’t I wouldn’t have thought a thing about it. But he chose to stick to his principles and do the right thing. That’s what I call integrity.

Whenever I’m tempted to not give full credit, whether it’s when I’m speaking or writing, I always think about Terry McNeal listing the worst guitar player in the world on his CD.

Nobody Cared

I think this is the first time I’ve ever posted two times in one day, but here it goes:

Nobody Cared

I’m still thinking about the moral failing a pastor friend had recently. He made a comment that the news was making the rounds on the web so I thought I’d see what people were saying. Thankfully most were writing words of support for my friend, his family and the other family involved. Some were writing appropriate words of rebuke that the road to recovery was going to be a long and difficult one for him. Of course there was also the standard attacks from the “I’ve got my underwear on too tight” and “God is so lucky to have me” group.

But what I found most interesting was there was no story in the local paper. It wasn’t mentioned on CNN, Drudge, Foxnews, or USA Today. None of the TV networks did a story about it. Other than church related blogs, I could not find it mentioned anywhere else. And that made me sad. That’s right, I said it made me sad.

Not because I want my friend’s dirty laundry spread all over the web. The guy’s family doesn’t need anymore piling on or worrying about seeing it on tv, so why am I sad? Because the pastor of the one of the fastest growing churches in America had to step down from leadership and it didn’t cause even a ripple. Very few people living in his town who didn’t attend his church cared that it happened. What I’m trying to say is that even though well over a thousand people went to his church every Sunday, and thousands read his blog and twitter post, he still had not made even a ripple in the big picture.

Now, I’m not bashing my buddy, in fact I’m bashing me and every other guy who’s ever lead a church. We get real uppity and proud when we talk about how many people show up on a Sunday or have been baptized in our church. There are even award dinners in most states for the SBC churches who have the most baptisms. (I’ve been to them and it’s like a freaking awards show). Don’t even get me started on Eagle awards. But the sad fact is the vast majority of churches are not making even a slight impact in their communities.  Somebody once wisely asked “would anybody in your town be upset if your church closed?”

I think every church and every pastor should be making such a impact on their community that there would be news stories worried about how teen mom’s are going to get the help they need now that the church is folding. Or a story on the front page wondering what’s going to happen to alcoholics and drug addicts now that the church will no longer be able to host a recovery group. Or a website devoted to mourning the loss of a pastor who not only talked about Jesus but made significant contributions to the area.

Churches and pastors, we need to stop spending so much time slapping each other on the back about how great we are and start impacting our communities to the degree that there would be tears if we weren’t there.

It’s Always a New Day.

Yesterday sucked. Sorry, but there’s no nice way to put it. Around lunch time I got news that rocked my world, pissed me off, and made me feel like I’d been punched in the stomach. It put me in a lousy mood for the rest of the day.

Then this morning came. I was doing my daily bike ride, which always begins with a lap around the lake in our neighborhood. Because I start at 5:30 AM, I’m usually on the far end of the lake looking back towards to the east when the sun comes up. I love this and it’s generally a great way to start the day. But this morning was different. I was praying about the news from yesterday when God connected the dots for me with the sunrise: it’s always a new day. No matter what happened yesterday, it’s always a new day.

This may not mean much to some people, but if you’re a serial screwup like me, it’s means everything. A new day means a chance to right that wrong, a new day means another chance to do it right the first time, but mostly a new day means I get to experience the grace of God.

So if you’ve screwed up lately, remember, it’s always a new day!

Handle Money Like A Man

Is your financial situation as bad as GM? Are you hoping for government bailout? Sadly, most guys don’t know squat about handling money. Take this test to rate yourself

1. Instead of balancing your checkbook do you just go to the ATM?

2. Does American Express have a hitman looking for you?

3. How many numbers are there in a credit score-1 or 2 or 3 or 4? If you answered “what’s a credit score?” go directly to the plan

4. Do you know the interest rate of your car loan?

5. Have you ever financed a tattoo?

Get the picture? Most guys are in deep finanical doo-doo but think the situation is so hopeless there’s no need to try. The good news is it’s not hopless, the bad news is it’s freaking hard to do. But I guarantee to refund 100% of the price you paid for this blog if the plan doesn’t work for you. I know becuase every time I’ve followed the plan it worked and every time I didn’t my finances sucked. 5 steps that anyone can remember and will make a huge difference in your financial future.

The PLAN

1. Cut up your credit cards. Yeah, yeah, I know “I get earn airline miles” or “I get money back” or the biggest lie people tell themselves, “I pay it off every month” (if do this you’re part of less than 1% of the population). This is hard but it’s the foundation of handling money like a man. There is literally nothing that you do with a credit card that you can’t do with debit card. Rent a car, buy plane tickets, order from Amazon.com, you can do it all.

Don’t freeze them in a tube of water cut them up. Or do what we did several years ago, we melted them in the oven!

The biggest reason this is #1 is if you won’t take this step, you’ll never follow the plan. It’s one of the most traumatic things you’ll ever do. To make it easier do it while watching the Freedom scene from “Braveheart”!

2. Get a $1000 emergency fund. The biggest objection to #1 is “but what if the washing machine dies?” In the past you just whipped out the plastic and got what you needed. Now there’s no plastic so you have to use something most guys aren’t familiar with, cash. Yep, good old cash, cabbage, dead presidents. Get the grand so your ready for the unexpected. Don’t stick it in your checking account because you’ll spend it. Don’t put it in a money market account because this is emergency cash and that means you need to be able to put your hands on it NOW. Keep it in cash, stashed away in your house. Or if you’re the nervous type, get a mason jar and bury it in your backyard, just remember to draw a map.

The logical question is “I’m broke and the blood bank says it’s dangerous to donate blood every other day so where am I gonna come up with that kind of jack?” Check out #3

3. Sell some stuff. That’s right sell some of your crap that you bought when you couldn’t afford it! I told you this was radical and hard but it’s the only way. You don’t need an X-Box 360 and a Playstation 3 and a Wii and computer. Why? Because part of the reason you’re freaking broke is you wasted time playing when you should have gotten a freaking job!!!! Most guys can come real close to getting their grr just by selling some stuff. I sold a collection of Daniel Moore paintings that not only got our grand but also paid off a credit card. Make Craigslist and Ebay your best friend.

4. Tell your money where to go. Now for what every guy considers the suckiest part of the plan. Most guys would rather have a prostate exam than write a budget. A budget doesn’t mean not buying Alabama football season tickets and it also doesn’t mean no going out to eat. It just means plan for it.

In fact don’t consider it a budget, think of it as a spending plan. The basic idea is that you tell every dollar where to go before you get it. Right now all of our income for June is spoken for. Every penny.

This is simple to do, I’ve got an excel spreadsheet that my wife developed that I’d be glad to share with anyone who wants it, just email me at dee.lauderdale@gmail.com. But you don’t have to go that high tech. Just get a piece of paper and draw columns based on the number of times you get paid. If it’s weekly you have 4 columns, bi-weekly then two columns. Then down the left side list all of your fixed expenses (house payment, car payment, utility bill, etc.) then things like food, gas, etc. Then take the stuff that comes up occasionaly and divide them by 12 (ex. if your car insurance is $1200 per year, then you need $100 per month to cover it). Now just subtract all of this from the total and see where you are. If there’s still money left over, dont’ worry we’ll get it in step #4.

But you’ve GOT to know what you earn and where it goes. Most people are surprised at how much extra money they have when they start using a spending plan.

5. Start the snowball. Now you’re ready to start paying off your debts. The best way I’ve ever seen is the snowball that Dave Ramsey made popular. In fact I got everything I’ve written from Dave so don’t think I’m all that smart. The idea is basically to basically list your debts from largest to smallest (don’t worry about interest rates, they don’t matter at this point). Then you pay the minimum on all of them except the bottom one. That’s the one you’re going to attack with the money you get from selling stuff and from the spending plan. When you get that one paid off don’t blow the extra coin on a clown, take it and combine with the next one up.

Say you’re smallest debt is $200 with a $15 month minimum payment. The next one up is $500 with a $25 minimium payment. When you get the $200 paid off, take the $15 you were paying on it and add it to the $25 you were already paying and suddenly you’re paying $40 per month and you haven’t gotten a raise or sold pencils on the side of the road. Then you just keep working the plan as your make your way up the list.

The goal is to be debt free except for you house. I’ve been there before and it’s great. I’m not there now but I will get there again.

That’s the plan. 5 simple steps that anybody can do. No matter how bad your situation is, this plan will get you out of it. It won’t be easy, in fact it will suck at times, BUT I can promise you that you’ll be so glad you did it. Plus it won’t take as long as you probably think it will.

So, what do you say? You got the guts to try?

Gold Digger

I heard something the other day that has really messed me up. It went like this “Do I love and serve God simply because He’s God or do I do it because of what He can do for me? If it’s the last one, then I married Him for His money.”

Does that strike you at all? It seems to me that the Western church has turned God into nothing more than a genie in a lamp. If we say the right magic words He’ll give us what we want. Somewhere along the way we lost sight of the simple fact that He’s God and we’re not. Period. If we keep that in mind it’s easy to keep all the stuff in our lives AND churches in the right perspective. But the minute God becomes a genie, we’re toast. There are some things that God does that we’ll never understand and our arrogance really shows when we think we have a right to.

So did you marry God for his money? Just something to think about.

I Almost Died Today

OK, maybe not almost but I did choke on a meatball and Dave Anderson had to do the Heimlich on me. There lot’s of weird stuff about this story starting with the fact that this was the first time I’d met Dave. How about that for a introduction? Thankfully I had already paid for lunch so that makes us even! Seriously though, thanks Dave you get three free sins for saving my sorry butt.

Later on in the afternoon I got to replaying the whole scene in my mind becuase something didn’t seem right. I finally figured out what it was, not one other person so much as got up to see what was going on. Not one person came over to see if I was all right. I mean people rubberneck at wrecks on the interstate and pay big $$$ to sit in the stands at a NASCAR race waiting for the “big one”, so you’d think at least one person’s morbid curiosity would get the best of them, but noooo.

The question I’ve got is “why”? Has the world really gotten that callous? Are we all just living in our own little bubble? I’m an eternal optimist so I’m hoping that ’s not the case, but the pragmatist him is pretty sure it is and that makes me sad.

Get Up You Bum

The setting is “Rocky V”, Tommy has just issued a beat down to Rocky in the parking lot. Rocky’s down and about to go out when he see’s Mickey, his old trainer, who tells him “Get up you bum” and that’s all Rocky need, he yells “Yo, Tommy one more round”. Tommy is the one on the receiving end of a beat down and Rocky is Rocky one more time.

Seems really over the top but don’t miss the learning: sometimes the only thing standing between you and success is to simply get up.

• Maybe you’ve been laid off from your job, get up.
• Maybe you’ve been through a divorce, get up!
• Maybe you’re working 60 hours a week and still can’t pay the bills, get up!
• Maybe you royally screwed up and got your butt fired, get up!
• Maybe you got screwed in business deal, get up!

The truth is you’re never out until you refuse to get up.

I was never a great athlete but I played football for a long time. I wasn’t the biggest, fastest, toughest or the most anything but I had one thing going for me, I always got up. No matter what, I always got up.

It’s tough to get up on your own but it can be done. The better deal is having someone to believe in you and tell you to get up. I left out part of the quote from Rocky, Mickey did say “Get up you bum” but then he said “Mickey loves you”. That’s what helped Rocky get up. Is there somebody in your life telling you “I love you and believe in you so get up”? If there’s not, I’ll do it, I love you and believe in you, so get up you bum.

On the flip side, if you’re not the guy who needs to get up why not find a guy who needs to hear that and tell him?

Just get up

Firewall

It’s amazing how something that looks innocent can be so dangerous. An example is foxnews.com. I bet most guys would tell you that site is their main source news on the net because it leans more to the right politically. But the thing that bugs me is they are including more and more content from Maxim magazine as well as stories that are about one thing and one thing only, sex.

Now on the surface the stories may not be the worst in the world but the danger is they provide a crack in a guy’s mind. Just a small crack that can end up being a path to worse stuff. The way it goes for many guys is they think they’ll click on the story, then the link to pictures and the next thing you know they’ve clicked on link after link and two hours has passed and they been looking at pictures that are way over the line. All because they let one little crack form.

What do you do? Simple, the same thing I do to keep computers safe, install a firewall. A firewall controls or denies access to my computer by controlling access to certain ports. A firewall fills in the crack.

So a firewall for guys is to go to other sites for news and avoid foxnews.com. You just don’t take the risk. This may seem like over kill to some, but just ask yourself if it’s smart to take chances you don’t have to?

The Bible has a great verse about firewalls
“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.” Matthew 18:9

What other areas are there where you need to install a firewall?

“Fight Club” Speech

One of all time favorite movie speeches:

“Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy stuff we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man; no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised by television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won’t; and we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.