Things That Tick Me Off

I was staring at my screen deciding what to write about today. Actually I’ve already written 500 words but because of certain circumstances I won’t post it until mid-April. Anyway, my cell phone started playing the MASH ringtone I use and I looked down at the caller ID and it read “Unknown”. For some reason I went brain dead and answered the call even though I never do for numbers I don’t recognize.

Sure enough it was a sales call from a guy and without a doubt english is his second language, maybe third. I cut him off and told him to put me on his do not call list.

It ticked me off more than normal because I’ve been getting a rash of marketing calls the last few days. I registered two domains for a new business over the weekend but didn’t pay the upcharge to mask my info on the whois page. The spammers were on me like a great white shark going after chum. So it’s partly my fault. But still.

Since I’m already ticked off, this seems like as good a time as any to go through a list of other things that tick me off.

People who do not use a turn signal

Driving 45 in the left lane of the interstate

Anybody chewing gum while running a cash register

Morning TV news shows who tease the one segment you want to see saying “coming up next” for hours.

“B” grade christian movies

Cheesy sayings on church signs, ex- God answers kneemail

People with 18 items in the express lane at Publix

CBS sports turning a college football game into a 4 hour marathon

Verne Lunquist not knowing he’s in Tuscaloosa Alabama and not Fayetville Arkansas (I know he retired, but still)

Filling out the same information on 3 different forms at the Doctor’s office


Drummers who can’t keep tempo

Any fast food place who’s employees aren’t as friendly and efficient as those at Chicfila

Live sound engineers that have the band so hot in the mix, you can’t hear the singer

Football coaches who won’t run the dang ball

Preachers who preach two good sermons when he was only supposed to do one.

Preaches who try to sneak in another sermon during his closing prayer

Committees (my favorite joke about committees; do you know what a camel is? A horse designed by a committee. <rim shot>)

People who can’t park the giant pickup or SUV they insist on driving

The price of student parking passes at the University of Alabama (it’s a long story and I’m still bitter)

Paying $5 bucks for a bottle of water anywhere

NASCAR ever since they made all the cars look the same

Stand up comedians who aren’t funny and try to compensate by seeing how many F-bombs they can drop

Reality TV

Bandwagon fans

Fans who complain about a college football coach making millions per year but pay $500 per seat for the privilege of paying $750 for a season ticket. Don’t they see the irony?

Speed traps


There, I feel better.


Things That Tick Me Off

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