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Jan 30 2012
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Knowing

Knowing

Ask any group of guys to talk about their biggest mistake, worst investment or greatest regret and you better find a comfortable chair and a good cup of coffee. Every guy has a long list that they sort of mentally carry around and review from time to time and inevitably they’ll say “If only I had known then what I know now…..” It’s easy to see what you should have done when you’re looking in the rearview mirror but you can’t and that’s why men must develop wisdom.

Wisdom is what keeps you from marring the wrong woman, taking that job or investing that money before you do it. When you have wisdom, you live a life with very few regrets. Wise people see the same thing in the windshield as they do the rearview mirror.

The question is “what is wisdom”? It’s actually kind of hard to define but here are three common definitions.

  • The first is age but just because you made it to 65 doesn’t automatically mean you’re wise.
  • The second is intelligence but there are tons of very smart people who no one would mistake for being wise.
  • The third is education but just because you’ve got  BS, MA, PhD and other kinds of letters after your name doesn’t guarantee that you’re wise

While none of these make you wise on their own, all three are often found in wise people. The reason is found in a great statement from the book of Proverbs on how to gain wisdom, “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.” So age does matter, especially when it comes to who you take advice from. the more instruction part is getting more education and the combination of advice and instruction equals smart.

That’s how you become wise but we still haven’t defined wisdom. Especially defining wisdom in just a few, memorable words that boys trying to become men can use as a daily filter to help direct their lives. Here it is:

Wisdom is knowing what’s right and how to do it.

Just to be clear what’s right = what God says is right, because that is the only reliable standard.

That’s wisdom in a nutshell. A really simple sentence that applies to your job, marriage, parenting, hobbies,  choice of friends, where you live, well you get the idea. Knowing what’s right and how to do it is really what separates the men from the boys.

Jan 17 2012
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Choosing, Doing, Knowing

Building Men

When it comes to figuring how to move from being a boy to a man or even from being a boy who can shave to a real man, there have been tons of books written but all of them are full of complicated formulas or long lists of things to do. This means that almost every male will never remember them and probably won’t read past page 25.

I’ve been thinking, reading, and studying about this process for a lot of years and have finally broken it down into three elements of being a man: Wisdom, Discipline, and Good Judgment. These three come a verse in the ultimate training manual for men, Proverbs, “Get the truth and never sell it;  also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.” Mastering these three elements will get you over the hump and into manhood, but the first question is what do those things really mean and how do you do them? I’ve been trying to come up with simple definitions that also give directions for the “how”. Here’s what I’ve got:

Wisdom is Knowing What’s Right And How To Do It

Discipline is Doing What’s Right, Even When It’s Hard

Good Judgment is Choosing What’s Right, Even When Something Else Looks Better

Or you can just remember three words and live every moment of every day with them in mind: KNOWING, DOING, & CHOOSING.

That’s it. Simple right? Well simple to remember, but you’ll spend the rest of your life reorienting your job, relationships, finances, hobbies and everything else to them. Hard to do but the payoff is worth it.

Over the next several days I’m going to write a post on each one to get you started.

Mar 18 2011
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Knowing

Women Are Like A Walk-in Closet?

Have you ever been having a discussion/argument with your wife/girlfriend and thought “What does this have to do with that?” (if you haven’t, you will). You’re talking about painting the bedroom when she says “My car is making a funny noise”. What the..? How did we get from here to there? Or it’s time to go to bed and you’re thinking, hmmmm, maybe tonight but she’s ticked off about something that happened at work. How are those two things related? The reason is women are like a walk-in closet. Now before you start sending me hate email, just keep reading.

Because men are visual here are two pictures that will help you understand a key difference between men and women. It’s all about how men and women process all of the details and input you get during a normal day.

Here’s how Men process:

Guys put everything in it’s own drawer. Work stuff goes in the work drawer, home stuff goes in the home drawer, golf stuff goes in the golf drawer. Everything is very focused and nothing is interconnected. But not only do guys put everything in it’s own drawer, they leave it there and don’t take it back out until they need it. One word description: compartmentalized.

Now here’s how women process:

Not that women are messy, but for them everything goes in one big closet. No dividers. Everything touches everything else in one way or another. That’s why what happened at work affects what happens in the bedroom. Everything is interconnected. She can keep multiple streams going at the same time. She’s not trying to be difficult, it’s just how her brain is wired. One word description: Multitasking.

So the next time you’re trying to figure out why your wife/girlfriend can keep 3 conversations going on at one time, just think of the closet. You can thank me later.

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